WARNING: May cause excessive self-importance and random urges to play Snake.
\$38.50 worth of nostalgia wrapped in premium cotton. Remember when phones were indestructible? This shirt isn't, but at least it looks better than your old 3310.
What makes it worth it (besides our amazing marketing): • Sirospun cotton that's softer than your first breakup • Classic fit because you're not trying too hard (sure) • Limited run, because we love creating FOMO • Free shipping to feed your online shopping addiction
Size & Fit: • Fits true to size (unlike your dating profile) • Model is 6'1" wearing L (and yes, they're single)
Care Instructions: • Machine wash cold (like your dating strategy) • Tumble dry low (like your investment returns) • Do not iron (seriously, just don't)
Still reading? Just buy it already. Your credit card is already out anyway.
